4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
