i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize