Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
