It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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