I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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