I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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