we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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