so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
