I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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