It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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