Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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