So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
