"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
