Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There was a lot of him and a little penis
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
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