I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
