I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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