I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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