he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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