He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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