Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
this hospital has no fireball
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
