well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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