I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
