He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
