I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
