Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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