i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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