You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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