Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
