no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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