I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
