have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
