i think i have two assholes
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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