Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
