I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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