I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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