Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
where are you?
Hypothermia
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
