he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
