I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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