i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
