i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
