The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
