it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
