shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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