Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
