google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Pants are for mortals
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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