quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize