Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
