remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
