The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
