You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
