lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
