there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
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He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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