Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Drake has all the answers
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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