omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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