Three words: puerto rican gang bang
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Boobs speak an international language.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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