five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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