Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
